Thoughts from cat

So, there I am, minding my own business on my favorite couch cushion. I've already been reduced to begging for the "food" to be refilled today. Then, I turn around and the big woman is coming at me with a hose attached to the giant sucking box. As if the daily humiliation I have to endure at the hands of the little one isn't enough. The next time she takes off her wedding ring, I'm eating it. I'm not giving it back until they take that vile thing back to the hospital.