Monday, April 04, 2011

Things I Learned: The Parenting Edition

1. Kids' heads are unhappy without a bump, bruise or scrape, as evidenced by the fact that every time one goes away, they make a new one.
2. At the start of every season, I buy 18 pair of matching socks for Gummy Bear and 18 pairs of matching socks for Cheeky Monkey. The boys' socks do not match each other. This way, Ry and I both know which socks belong to which boy as we're groping around in the dark, uncaffeinated and groggy.  I know, 18 seems like a lot, but by the end of the season, I am doing a load of socks the night before school more often than I'd like to admit. The sock gnomes are especially fertile in this part of the country.
3. The night you go to Happy Hour with some of your husband's colleagues is inevitably the night your 4-year-old will both talk about his penis and take his pants (and underwear) down because "something's not right!"
4. The same 4-year-old will then give you his Raffe to "squeeze really tight" when you are cleaning the thumb you just sliced open making his lunch for the next day.
5. Then he'll ask for Raffe back, because it's time to go to bed.
6. And give you his dinosaur, because "I don't use that dino anymore."

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